Now that I’ve spent several months observing birds, I have come across what could be the ultimate conspiracy theory. Birds aren’t real.
There area lot of great conspiracy theories out there. Some are almost believable. Most should give us a chuckle or two. Although there seem to be people who actually believe some of them.
This one was made up. It was made up as a satire of other conspiracy theories. Only there seems to again be a few people who believe.
The idea is that all birds… all of them… have been killed off and replaced by drones. Between 1959 and 2001, various government agencies around the world replaced all the birds. I don’t know why they decided to replace all the different birds. I mean, that’s a lot of different drones to put into production. But according to this, there are no more birds. Just drones.
One part of the theory claims this project was started by a couple of high level people at the CIA who were tired of birds pooping on their cars. Now you might say, “but birds still do that”. No. They are really dropping tracking devices on your vehicle. At first it was thought to be oil leakage from the drones. Now, they think it could be tracking devices.
And some of these drones serve multiple purposes, apparently. Like vultures may be spies, but they also do sanitation work, cleaning up dead animals. And hummingbirds… those things are really tiny assassins. Which is probably the best explanation for why they are so pointy.
Like most conspiracy theories, they have an answer for pretty much anything. But now I don’t have to bother checking out birds, hoping to spot something new and exciting. They’re all just drones.
So from now on, I’m not bird watching. I’m drone spotting.
