My history with scary movies is not good. The first one I remember was pestering my mom to take me to a showing of 13 Ghosts, which featured special tinted glasses so you could see the ghosts. I think I might have been 6 or 7. Nightmares ensued for weeks. And it didn’t help that I brought the glasses home with me and would put them on looking for ghosts in the dark.
But here’s why you should not watch a scary movie with me, or even a drama where something or someone jumps out suddenly. I scream. A bloodcurdling very loud scream. It is completely involuntary. I can prepare myself for the jump scare based on the rising music or the sudden silence but it’s almost impossible for me not to react that way.
My kids and my wife tell me that I’m the scariest part of any movie we watch because my scream frightens them worse than anything they see on screen. It’s the reason we don’t go to scary movies in the theatre anymore, because they find it embarrassing when Dad suddenly stands up and lets one go. We’ve had people sitting in front of us get up and move seats after one of my episodes.
I scream at all jump scares, but especially cat jump scares. There are plenty in the Friday the 13th and Halloween series, but I vividly remember watching a non-scary movie – the classic Apocalypse Now and the scene where the soldier is in the jungle and suddenly a tiger jumps out. You got it. That was probably the most personally embarrassing moment in a theatre for me, ever. I mean, it’s one thing to be at a horror film and scream, but it’s a whole new level when you scream during a serious drama. I’ve actually looked for self-help books that deal with the “jump scare” over reaction but I don’t think anyone has written one yet.
So, will I be going to the theatre this weekend to catch the latest It film? I’m not going to tell you so you will just have to deal with what is onscreen with the possibility of a screaming maniac sitting behind you.
