I’ll admit it. I am a liar. In more modern terms, I am a purveyor of alternative facts. If you smell smoke, it could be the fact that my pants are proverbially on fire. I am a lying liar.
While this could qualify me for a new career in politics, that is not my intention. My lies are for the sake of convenience… the convenience of not having to try to explain things to a machine.
Every day before we start singing our “Hi Ho”s and heading off to work, we have to fill out a Covid self assessment form to see if we have contacted the disease and should stay home. Should I answer honestly, I would probably have to stay home. Because I do tend to have a bit of a running nose, possibly watering eyes and maybe even a touch of a headache.
According to the computer, these are symptoms of Covid and I should immediately be put in a sealed container and kept isolated. According to my nose and eyes, these symptoms have a lot more to do with the fact that there are a handful of large pine trees that stand fairly close to my bedroom window and currently are sporting lovely yellow outfits.
Yep. It’s pollen season. Allergies are kicking in. First thing in the morning a computer programmed with only a list of random symptoms would likely suspect me of something else. In fact, it would probably suggest that I have someone go in search of what remains of my brain by sticking a swab through my nasal cavity.
Instead, I usually just do what I have done for years… swallow an antihistamine and with a few minutes I am cured.
But in the meantime, I am an admitted liar. I lie because a machine can’t handle the truth.
And, by the way, if you see me and I happen to sneeze… into my elbow, of course… please don’t run away. It’s only allergies.
Unfortunately pollen doesn’t get the hang of social distancing.
