The journey continues with Ryan
Last time I told you all about my son Cole and his diagnosis and early years. Now I will tell you about our youngest, Ryan.
He is 9 years old and in grade 3.
Ryan’s story is similar in the diagnosis; however, he is much different from Cole.
Ryan’s Early Years and diagnosis
When I was pregnant with Ryan, I enrolled in the Teacher Assistant course because the more we learned about Autism, the more I realized I wanted to help and work with kids like Cole.
When Ryan was born, we realized he was also behind in meeting his milestones. He walked later and was not talking at all until he was at least two. He started with his letters and sounds but not really any words. Because of going through this with Cole, we knew this most likely meant he was on the spectrum, but we had to still go through the process of getting him diagnosed.
He was sent to the same OT and Psychologist, which was nice to already know them and have a relationship with them.
When we got the formal diagnosis, I will be honest and say that I cried.
When I was pregnant, I kept saying that Ryan will be the one to stick up for his big brother and protect Cole and now in my head I was thinking, “Who will protect them?”
I quickly got over that and realized they would be there for each other.
Early Intervention and Support
Unfortunately for Ryan, COVID happened before he was to start EIBI (Early Intensive Behavioral Intervention) and because they were so backed up, it changed how it worked. He still got the one on one, in our house time, however instead of 1 year it was reduced to 6 months. He still had Early Intervention first.
The workers were also amazing with him. Some of them were the same people who had worked with Cole, so we already trusted them and felt comfortable with them. He learned a lot from working with them. He was able to have them join him in Pre Primary as well, which was very helpful.
Differences
Ryan had many more challenges than Cole did. Cole quickly became more social, a big talker and fit right into his classroom, doing the same work as the rest of his class. He excelled in French and reading and did not need any supports in school.
Ryan took a very long time to potty train. He was in pull ups going to school when he was 4 and 5. I was so upset, worried he would get made fun of being the big kid at school still wearing diapers. I quickly saw that the other kids didn’t care, they loved playing with him and including him.
Primary was tough for him, he had to start doing work, it was a new routine and new rooms for him. He had a TA, which we were very grateful for.
Ryan also had challenging behaviours at home, which of course happened at school as well.
He would throw things if he was upset, he went through a phase of banging his forehead on things as well. Sometimes so much he would have a bruise. We were told this was feeding a sensory need he had. We had to try many strategies so he wouldn’t hurt himself.
He was and is a daredevil. He had no sense of danger. Would run out on the road and not realize he could get hurt, would climb and jump off anything.
It was very stressful to always be worried about keeping him safe. While he came a long way with his language, learning and using new words, he still wasn’t using his language to communicate. We had many times we didn’t know what he needed or what was upsetting him, which was very frustrating for him and us.
He began using PECS images (which are little pictures of an object, food, item, place, etc) to show us what he needed or wanted. This was a helpful way for him to communicate with us. He also began using a talker at school. We think this helped him learn more words and he began forming sentences.
School time was stressful for us, we were constantly worried about him, wondering if he would succeed and be able to be in the class and doing the same stuff as his classmates. We had to have meetings for his IPP (Individualized Program Plan) and constantly change and update things based on new needs for him.
Watching Him Thrive
Thanks to amazing TA’s, teachers and staff Ryan has been able to thrive at school. He used the talker for a very short time, he now uses full sentences when communicating and can say what he wants and needs.
Each year he gets better at communicating. He does his work in class with his peers, he is a great reader and is amazing at Math. He is completing grade level work, and each day impresses us with how smart he is.
He still has behaviours that we deal with at home and school, it seems one goes away and something new starts but overall, Ryan has made great strides.
Now that you know all about the beginning of the boys’ stories, I can start to tell you more about the funny, not so funny and challenging things that have happened to us through the years.
There are so many times I’ve cried, yelled, laughed and then cried again. Sometimes it’s all on the same day.
I look forward to sharing them with you soon.
